by Mr. Tacks
I figured that I would write this for all of the guys that complain about women that only want “Thugs”. Some people suggest that you shouldn’t change who you are to get women. They also suggest you can’t fake that type of thuggish anti-social behavior.Point blank, they say that either you are a thug or you are not. Well I have to disagree. While it is true that you may not be a thug…..you can play one on TV. It’s called acting, or as some women have told me later, lying.
I don’t do this often, but I’ma put you on to Tacks’ surefire way to scoop “Thug addicted” women. There are a number of thug behaviors that you can emulate to get those Thug addicted women fiending for you. The process is simple. Do your research. Observe people that you know to be thugs. See how they speak and act. You can copy their mannerisms without engaging in the risky thug behaviors that could wind you up in jail…or worse yet dead if you happen to run across real thugs. lol
So here we go……….
Tacks’ Guide on scooping Thug Addicted Women: Thug Mannerisms
1. Thugs don’t talk alot. Just like that old saying goes, those that talk don’t know and those that know don’t talk. SO SHUT THE FUCK UP. If asked a question be straight and to the point in all answers. Don’t elaborate, don’t pontificate. Also, and this is very important, don’t use words like elaborate and pontificate.
2. DON’T use the slang of the hour. I know this seems to be the opposite of what you should do but trust me on this, nothing will expose you faster as a wanna be thug than using slang incorrectly. If you must, stick with the ol’ reliable “Bitch” and “Nigga”. For example, “Fuck that bitch!” or “Nigga please” always works. Also remember item one. Thugs don’t talk alot.
3. Look annoyed at everything except nice looking women and high priced material items (or illegal professions that bring them). As a beginner your first inclination will be to scowl alot. Try not to scowl. Look indifferent or at the least slightly annoyed. Try to have a slight hint of irritation in your voice and eyes at all times except when receiving money or azz from the victim…err, I mean the Thug addicted woman.
4. Never talk about what you do for a living. If fact be rather vague about it. In fact, if pressed, flip out and excuse her of being five oh. Walk away immediately and don’t talk to her until she contacts you and swears she is not Five oh. You need to be careful with this one. Try not to overdo it or she won’t think you are a thug, she’ll think you are deranged (and not in that good thug type way either).
5. Carry a pager or Blackberry type text messager. Get your home boys to page you at all hours of the day and night when you are with her. Always call them back from a payphone (Remember, real thugs don’t talk on cell phones). After the call when she asks you who was that just say “Nobody special”. Then mumble “but they better stop fucking up my money”.
6. Refer to most women as “bitch”. Especially your baby’s momma. The exceptions to this rule are your own mamma and select female family members. This will demonstate your kinder and gentler side.
7. Carry a roll of money with you at all times. 100 bucks should do it (Two $20 bills on the outside with a stack of sixty $1 bills in the center). This will help her to assume that you are a successful thug.
8. Oh and one more thing……and this one is real important. STAY AWAY FROM WHERE REAL THUGS CONGREGATE. They will automatically know that you are faking the funk and you could get your ass hurt.
Just follow these simple steps and you will have all the hoochie ass you can handle.